girl with a mission

I've suddenly felt compelled to write on my blog. This is most likely due to not wanting to write my assignment but that doesn't matter.

Ok so I'm in my 3rd year of uni now - final year! There are loads of assignments to be doing, as well as thinking of what dissertation I want to do. Then in Jan I'll be starting my final placement in school and it will be the last time I'll get called Miss!!!

The Wedding plans are going well. Feeling quite organised as I tried to get big things completed before I started back at uni. So, I have my dress, church, venue and band. There are still loads to do and it is constantly at the back of mind to get things done. A big one at the moment is trying to sort out the bridesmaid dresses. My bridesmaids are Bec (my best friend since forever), Jen (Dave's amazing sister) and a lovely young girl at our church who is the daughter of the couple we are accountable to and will be doing marriage prep with.

It's also really exciting in the house because my housemate is getting married as well - 2 weeks after us! So, the house is wedding crazy hehe. We comically watched Bride Wars and had a giggle about turning each others hair blue - hehe.

I also need to be applying for jobs soon and taking my QTS skill tests - the numeracy one looks really hard and I really don't know how I'm going to pass it.

Well, that's it really for now. Going to continue with my English assignment and hopefully get it completed soon as it is in for next week :(

God bless :)

Labels: Procrastination, University, Wedding

I just found a song by Jonny Diaz called More Beautiful You. I've found it so encouraging and something I needed to hear :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ks3R2BwyO0

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

Labels: Decision, Happy, Praise

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzc0v5P5kg8

Labels: Decision

After all these years of posting about my future husband and the battle I have faced waiting patiently and whole heartedly...I am now, through God's almighty leading...engaged!



Dave proposed on 9.07.09. He took me out for such a romantic day...

In the morning Dave picked me up and told me we were going out for the day. So, with no idea where we were going, he began to drive. I kept gazing over at the sat nav thinking, “where are we going that will take 11 minutes? What is going on?” We finally arrived at Sudeley Castle and my whole face lit up, I had wanted to go there for so long. We got out the car and I began to wonder why Dave looked like a pack horse with a rucksack on his back and a camera bag on his shoulder. He kindly paid as we entered the gardens at the front of the castle where Dave turned around and gave me a card. He informed me that I would be receiving eight of these throughout the day and I would have to get the answer correct on the card to be able to get the next one. I started panicking and wondered if I was being tested on school work or bible trivia. I soon opened the card to find that it was a question about our relationship (some of them were multiple choice). When I answered the question on the front he allowed me to open the card. Inside it was full of writing about the answer and how much he loved me. I was so amazed and happy, I love letters and romantic writing like that, and I couldn't believe he had done it for me.

We carried on with our day exploring the gardens and castle. I took so many photos, I was in my element. We were even chased by a peacock as we were walking through the bird sanctuary. As lunch time arrived I wondered what were we going to eat as earlier in the day I had questioned Dave if I had to bring anything but he informed me that everything was sorted. So, as tummies began to rumble Dave lead me to a patch of grass under a tree and laid down a rug. He then began unloading this massive rucksack that he had been carrying round all morning. I was shocked by how much he pulled out...seemed like a Mary Poppin’s bag as; cups, plates, strawberries, bubbles, drinks, sandwiches, chocolate, fruit, moose’s, all appeared on the rug. He hand-made me my favourite sandwiches and wrapped them up. He placed them on my lap and gave me such a cheeky smile. I was in awe by how much hard work and planning had gone in to the day. After we had eaten he handed me another question card, by this point I had received about four through the morning. It was another multiple choice but I was warned that some were coming up that didn’t have choices. We then started blowing bubbles and tried to take some photos. We were amused by how the wind was blowing so hard that we didn’t need to do anything. Not long later we packed up the picnic and continued with our day at Sudeley Castle, taking more photos...some silly and some serious, as we enjoyed each others company.

Half way through the afternoon we left Sudeley Castle and decided to go to Cleave Hill to fly our kites. We decided to go back to my house first to pick up a blanket to keep warm. When I walked through the door I found a card in the post...from Dave. I opened it up and on the front of it it read “Will you...” and inside “...spend the day with me?” My heart stopped for a moment thinking what is this but I should have guessed with Dave’s winding up nature that it would be a joke. So, we continued up Cleave Hill, now with my mind racing wondering what his intentions were for the day. Once again, I received another question card which didn’t have a multiple choice and said “When was the first time I said I love you?” I knew the answer straight away and actually felt quite chuffed with myself for knowing the date.

It was fun flying the kites as the wind came and went; making our kites impossible to fly successfully. We didn’t stay there for long and Dave informed me that he was taking me home to get dressed up and he would pick me up later. So off home we went and my mind couldn’t stop wondering what we were going to be doing next...the day was so exciting and so well planned.

It was 7pm when Dave rang on the door bell. I stepped out the door with one of my favourite dresses on and Dave was a gentleman and complimented me on my outfit. He gave away no clues for what we were doing as he drove me back to his flat. When he opened the door to his flat I began to smell something familiar...Chinese food. I stepped into the living room and was amazed to see the room laid out with blankets and cushions. The room was lit with candles and on the side there were tea light candles spelling out ‘Love D+E’. It was so beautiful and then he handed me some red roses. I couldn’t believe all the work he had done for it; especially as I considered myself the planner in the relationship. He continued to give me the question cards throughout the evening as we sat and ate our favourite Chinese meal. Afterwards, he guided me outside to look at the horizon; it was beautiful as the sun was setting behind the buildings. At this point Dave had disappeared and told me to stay out there. In confusion I did what he asked and wondered, yet again, what he was up to as suspicions entered my mind. Then Dave called my name as he walked onto the Balcony, he told me it was time to open the last question card. All Dave could do was smile which made me wonder if this was going to be the answer to this wonderful day. I pulled the card out the envelope and read the words, ‘Guess what...’ As I read it out loud Dave got down on one knee, pulled a rose from behind his back and told me how much he loved me and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and wanted to serve me and have a Godly relationship...and then he said those amazing words...“Will you marry me and be my wife?”. At this point I was in floods of tears and jumped into his arms, all I could do was smile and giggle. I soon realised that I hadn’t actually answered him and said, “That’s a yes by the way”. He then pulled out a Haribo ring and placed it on my finger...I laughed so much and he explained how he was still waiting for the ring he had ordered and should get it next week. I was fine and thought it was an amazing idea!

You would think the story ends here...oh no. The next day I was at work and I had been texting Dave in the morning as we confirmed with each other who we had told. All of a sudden, when I was completely convinced he was at work, he walked through the door. I had one of those moments when you feel like you’re seeing things and can’t actually believe what is going on. He gracefully walked round to where I was standing and got on one knee...again! I started to think he either had amnesia or I had dreamed that he had proposed the night before. But he stopped my thought process as he pulled out the ring he didn’t think would be ready and asked me if I would be his wife again. I was so excited and so amazed that this had happened, and so was Dave. He didn’t expect the ring to be ready and was so excited when the store phoned him at work. He placed it on my finger and it fit perfectly!

I couldn’t have been more excited and amazed and in love. I was about to marry a man who I could see loved me so much...there was no hesitation in my answer!

Labels: Decision, Fun, Happy, Praise, Wedding

Well I've officially completed my second year at Uni studying to be a primary teacher - just one year left! Our lecturer said this morning - "In 15 months some of you will have your own class". That is such a scary thought...but kind of cool at the same time.

Well with this official end I hope it means I will have some time to write on this blog as it has suffered some neglect recently.

My first rant will have to be for the over consumed time and energy - fbook.
I was crawling through peoples profiles - as you do, fbook is a nosey world - when I saw all these different quizzes that you can do. These quizzes, depending on which one you take, can tell you their predictions about what you'll life will be like, how many children you'll have or when you'll get married. In the past I have found these slightly amusing, as it reveals specific dates and times that people will be proposed to or the different sexes of babies they'll have -until I saw a list of other possible quizzes. I was horrified to see quizzes saying "Find out what your NEXT boyfriends name will be?"or "When you'll lose your virginity?" with the tag line "will it be 13 or 40"!!!!!!

What is the world promoting?! What does society expect from this generation? Why would people even consider 13 to be socially acceptable?

Currently I have been listening to podcasts from Mark Driscoll about Gods designed purpose is with sex. How it is not a god or gross but is a gift and something that should be strictly held within marriage. Why? Because it is only within marriage that something so emotionally, spiritually and physically bonding can be protected, guarded.

I hope you have placed your belief and understanding of the purpose of sex in a secure and holy place.

Labels: Rant, University

I feel sad that this blog hasn't been so active for quite a while. I could list many reasons for this: - Uni
- Placements
- Church
- Boyfriend/friends/family
- Facebook

Yeh, I think there are too many distractions...especially the last one. I suppose this site has been running for a while and the excitement has died down. Maybe there is a realisation that my life is too busy? The only reason why today is free is because there is an inset day at school.

Well, to summarise my life recently - I'm still training to be a primary teacher, I'm in my second year which is ending next week!! Woo! I'm in a relationship/ courtship with an amazing Godly man and we are approaching 15 months together. I'm committed to a local church and God is changing and challenging me every day to grow to be a Godly woman.

I'm still not perfect, I'm still a sinner - but God is my saviour, my salvation, my strength!

Labels: Praise

Last year I gave up guys for lent. The purpose was to find out my identity without male affirmation, I just wanted to focus on God. It was such an eye opening experience to realise my feminity and beauty in God. To understand and know how to serve my brothers in Christ and how to serve God effectively in my role as a woman.

This year I want to read the well read book, 'Purpose Driven Life' by Rick Warren. I will be reading it along side one of my friends which will be good to get other support and opinions.

Lets watch this space to see what I learn...

Labels: Decision

Tomorrow is Valentines day. It's my first Valentines day with a boyfriend but that isn't what is making me smile at the moment. I just read through all my Valentines posts over the passed 4/5 years and I can see how I've grown...spiritually and emotionally.

I began with not liking Valentines, to being happy for others, to understanding where to place my singleness in the eyes of God, to rejoicing God's love for me and being secure in Him. I began talking about having that Valentines day with that special person, my future husband, when he comes along - when God writes him into the story. This is that year :) God has brought an amazing man into my life for me to serve and love. And my security isn't in this man whom I love but in the God that wrote him in.

I gave God the pen to my love story and He is writing each chapter as we walk. And yes, there are times when we muck up, when we snatch the pen back because we fail to trust God enough to write the story "correctly". We try to flick to the end of the book to see what happens. But why do we want to ruin it? Why do we believe our version of the story will be better? Why do we want to rush to end when it is actually the journey which is the destination?

Don't lose faith that God is writing your love story, if you want read all my Valentines posts to see how God changed me. Give Him the pen and trust in His guidance :)

Labels: Praise

I have to admit that I haven't been very good with this blogging malarkey recently. I have to agree with my brother that the world of fbook has killed blogging. Sadly I have been trapped into the obsessive need to be on fbook numerous hours a day. Unfortunately, if you're not on fbook then you don't get invited to things and you miss out on important details about your friends. People just get lazy to talk to each other about things.

One thing that really bugs me is when people change their relationship status to something that isn't true e.g. to married or engaged when they're not. It actually bugs me because then I have to work out what the truth is and if I should be sending them congratulation messages.

I wonder, if I didn't write anything on my fbook about me or put pictures up showing my life at the moment, would people contact me more to see how I am? Do people actually care? Or are they being nosey?

Labels: Just a thought

Recently I turned 20. I've officially moved passed the teenage stage of my life.
The day was my first birthday with my boyfriend Dave and he planned such an amazing day together. Unfortunately, I wasn't at all well on the day, due to the inevitable flu that goes round this time of year. So the day was spent curled up on the sofa, drifting in and out of consciousness. However, my day was moved to when I was better, and this evening Dave is cooking me a 3 course meal...he dressed up in a suit and everything!!

This is also our first Christmas together. We're not going to be together on the actually day so we're going to have our own Christmas day this Saturday. We set a price limit on our Christmas presents because otherwise I would just keep buying stuff. We already have a tree up in his flat which has been poorly decorated and I have most of his presents. Annoyingly, I ordered a present online and it apparently delivered but I couldn't see it. So, I phoned the company and asked where it was and they claimed that they left in on the porch...dilemma, I don't have a porch. I told them that they must have left it on the pavement which was a ridiculous thing to do because I don't live in a pleasant area. So, that present was stolen so they have reordered it for me. So much hassle, but it's worth it for my boy :)

There are so many exciting things I am doing this season. I'm going to see the Sound of Music in London on friday with my housemates. We're all meeting in London and it's for my housemates 21st birthday :) It's going to be so exciting!! Then Saturday is Dave and mine's christmas day and then on the Sunday he is taking me home and staying for a bit. Then on boxing day I'm going to go see his parents and then until New Year Dave will stay at my parents :)

My first Christmas with a boyfriend...I'm so excited :)

God bless, Esther :)

Labels: Happy, Ramblings