from the deepest pit to the highest peak

I feel like I'm on a roller coster - if I'm not crying my eyes out or screaming with excitement, I feel sad and low because I feel drained. I feel like I'm mixed up. I'm so happy because I'm in love with this amazing guy and Jesus loves me and died for me. But I randomly feel sad - is it a mixture of being so far away from this guy and cuz I feel hungry for God also there is the stress of school and I suppose home life is getting me down. But I don't want to be on this roller coster, it's to rough for me, or is it? Will this 'experience' characterize me? Is this a lesson to be learnt? Well whatever it is I'm sure God will show me in his own time.

I'm not a little girl inside

Inside me I feel so tall,
but outsite I'm so small,
I want to break out of this shell,
and be me, who can tell.
Society makes me feel so young,
when I feel twice my age,
but i suppose in reality,
there's so much for me to learn.
Why is life so complicated,
and different to me,
am i the only one who feels so weird!
nowadays I feel trapped,
and I want to run and shout,
but at the moment i shall be,
poor little quiet me!

ups and downs

I know I've been feeling a bit high and low recently there are many reasons I think I haven't really worked it all out yet, if I ever will?! I know sometimes when things run as down we have to work extra hard to be happy and even though it don't seem worth it, well it really does mean a lot for the people around you because it is quite easy sometimes to bring down someone's lift when you're sad. I know because the other day I was on a mega HIGH and I was running into classrooms dancing and inside I was singing the Lords name, and I know my friends liked seeing me happy because I had been quite sad. So I came into this one lesson and the teacher was talking about war and I was like oh this isn't keeping may spirits up and because I was so emotional and not normal I ended up crying but then after that lesson I was high again. So we have to be careful on how we act around others and try not to let all our emotions get others down.

BTW - http://www.christiansinthought.tk/ check this out it's run by a 15 year old Christian guy! :D

Grief...

I said I would leave a blog about something I read so all you have to do is click on the pic and it will be bigger. I got it from the word 4 u 2day book and this is there website. It may tell you that you can subscribe to it but you can always check it out online.

Benny Hinn in Birmingham, england!

http://www.bennyhinn.org/broadcast/tiyd.cfm - The website!

http://www.bennyhinn.org/media/2004-8-9.asx - Monday

http://www.bennyhinn.org/media/2004-8-10.asx - Tuesday

http://www.bennyhinn.org/media/2004-8-11.asx - Wednesday

http://www.bennyhinn.org/media/2004-8-12.asx - Thursday

http://www.bennyhinn.org/media/2004-8-13.asx - Friday

Tiredness

I can tell I'm not use to working, I must be allergic to school because I've randomly started to build up a cold or something like it when u feel hot and your throat hurts and it feels like you can't drink enough water. I don't want to be getting a sore throat because I love singing and I don't want to "rest my voice". I read once that if you have a sore throat you should rest it by not singing and to prevent yourself from talking and reading! Apparently when you read the words form in your throat as if you were talking. I thought it was quite fascinating!

Oh yeh I have to do a aural exam at school(was meant to be today but the teacher forgot) in English and because we can talk about anything we like I chose to talk about Poland and what we did. So I set up a website with some pics on, so when I go through it at school I will look at the pics as a guideline and talk about them. So if anyone wants to check out the pics click here and check out the site.

School tomorrow!

I dunno if I could take another year of school!This ones my gcse year and ah I'm already worrying about it because there's so much to remember and to take in. So I'll appologize now if I don't right enough on here. I've always wanted to skip the school stuff and get into real life straight away, I hate all the fuss and boredom you go through. But then the other day I remembered it's not where you finish off that counts it's the journey. I would normally apply that to my walk with God but God is part of my life so I suppose it counts. Someone also reminded me of a verse today:

John 16
20I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. 21A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. 22So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. 23In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 24Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

It makes you realise that the problems in life aren't to be worried about because one day we will get our reward. Well that's what Christians believe is going to happen to them(I believe it)!

Well I'm going to go and mope around for a bit, eat, work, pack bag, wash hair, curl hair, read bible, text someone and then sleep! To be woken up by a terrible song on my radio which will stay in my head all day!