girl with a mission

How freaky, I have a GCSE exam tommorow I feel like it has all come so quick and I don't feel ready for it. One thing i am ready for is my birthday which is in 10 days ahh! And christams in 29 days. This year feels different normally I keep thinking about the true meaning on christmas instead of the presents and food and decorations. How God sent a son down to earth to show us how to live and to act.

Well today started off with me being late for church because my friend slept over and we didn't get up till 10. Finally I got to church and I was real tired. At my church during the middle of it we split and the children go out but the youth group have to stay in (which non of us really like because the talking is really boring) so I tried to go out of the meeting with my friend and help with the kings klub but one of the leaders told me to get out. So I decided to go and help my mum in creche because she said I could and the leader came in and told me to get out. I was really annoyed because half the people my age were out of the service. So during the time when I had to stay in the service I was thinking about how it could be changed. And I remembered how I run a c.u at school. So I could run a youth group at church. I feel like God is saying this and I really want to do this one for God because he has done so much for me. And this talk from God couldn't of been a mistake because I was speaking to me mate and he said that he had been thinking about it aswell.

Today what a day. Long tiring and boring really. All i did was revising with my mate for our GCSEs that we have next week.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me,
I once was lost but now I'm found,
was blind but now I see.

I just love that song (I have it saved on my computer so I can listen to it). My friend once told me that the first time she heard this song she cried. I can see why, it is really moving and has amazing passion to it.

Just to update you all my mate is better and was at school praise the Lord.

Did anyone watch that programme that was on about a month ago called 'Does prayer work' and they had different religions praying for people in hospital who were about to have an operation and only 50% of the people were getting prayed for. When me and my mum watched this we predicted at the very beginning that it wouldn't work. For one case some people were going to be prayed for anyway because if they were a part of a religion their families would be praying for them. To be honest that program really annoyed me. Oh well!

Relationships have been a big part part of my life during the last two months. Not with just boys but friendship as well. As I've been thinking about it a lot, I found it very interesting that my brother had a link on his site to this magazine article which talks about relationships and why to go into them.

Also last night I was praying really hard and I don't think I have prayed that hard for a while. I really wanted my mate to get better because he has been ill for a while and he has been missing a lot of school and this year is when he does his GCSEs. But when I rang him today he was off school still and was still ill. I don't understand why God would want this to happen but I've only been praying for it for about 24 hrs so I guess I have to pray until something happens P.U.S.H!!!!

I think im getting by now! But for how long?
I just know when I get settled again that the devil will come and trip me up, so should I settle? Should I always expect something bad is going to happen? What is the next turn? How long is the journey going to be? Will I be in it the whole way? Will I ever try and back out?
Saying these questions reminds me of this story I heard called footprints:

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed 2 sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him, and questioned the LORD about it. " LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then when I carried you."

I was going to write something because I have so much in my head but it's all mixed up and I'm all confused!This week my life has been here there and absolutely everywhere. I feel like each day I've gone to a new theme park and I go on all the huge scary roller coasters.

I sang at my friends church today. It was really cool and my mates sis can really sing shes amazing!

# posted by Esther : 20:59 :

It has been a very weird week. I can see that the devil has been trying to attack me this week. Yesterday I had Christian union and we have it in one of the re rooms at lunchtime and about 17 people come. We wanted some privacy so we locked the door because people like walking into the meeting to disturb it. So we were playing this game about fears and I went to stand in front of the door because some of the kids were messing around near it. Then this girl came up behind me and started banging on the door and she came in having a shout asking where the teacher was and she had ago at me. One thing I can is that she scared me when she came up behind me! After that the key had disappeared and we were looking all over the place for it. I was getting upset at this point because I had all this stuff to do in c.u and it was all being wrecked! I then spoke to my friend and said, if we all pray about it it may just turn up and then at that second they found the key. A random boy just brought it to the door, it was amazing. So after that we carried on with c.u. I think C.u is better than it started out at the beginning which is good. I wish more people could come!

So after my stressful week I came home from my mates last night and got the chocolate ice cream and a big mug of hot chocolate and watched a video on my moms bed. That was good!

A very very very stressful day! It started off with a strange man coming to the house and he was waiting there for 10 minutes just sitting in the car watching the house, then he went. I then tried to walk out the house but he came back for another 10 minutes and then he went and came back again. Luckily I got out before he came back the third time but I was really shaken up about it and I was late for school. Then for the rest of the day my hormones were here there and everywhere. I had a mad stress at my mates but they understood and I love them to bits. So, at the moment I'm de-stressing and i have to go and do some chemistry in a bit. I'm so pleased God is on my side!

Life has been slow recently. I went on a GCSE music weekend with the school and there I was really tested by God. I was woken up at 5:30 in the morning by my friends and they put their hair dryers on and put music on full blast. I was really annoyed but I never had ago at them cuz I didn't want to fall out with them. I felt really good about it aswell because when I came home i told my brother and he said that he would of thrown the radio out the window, so I'm pleased that I didn't. Also there was drinking and stuff like that going on and I was pleased that I was never dragged into it. And my mate brought a ouija board and said that she was going to use it in our room where there were three christians in, so all the christians weren't impressed and there was disagreements going on.
Many of my friends have been ill recently and one of my closest friends told me they were ill and he had been ill for a while and I've been getting really worried. So alot of prayer has been going on.
Also exams are drawing near and i never have time to revise and I keep getting worried about it. Everyone tells me not to but I still get that feeling that I need to worry about it. Please pray for me to relax and find time to revise.

Recently I've been helping people and sorting out friendships and relationships and stuff. I do normally when I can but it seems that I've done it a lot this week. I've also had a really good talk with my mates and building on relationships. I think now I need to build more relationships and let them develop. As a Christian I find it hard to act how I'm suppose to. I also seem to get tempted into doing wrong but I try to resist most the time. I feel like in the Christian union I have at school that we need to get organised and ready and get out there more! I might bring in new things and try out stuff and see what happens. I don't know if in my cue that im meant to include non Christians or not because sometimes I want to do a lot of Christian stuff and people that are not Christians might find it hard. Prayer has been working for my friends recently and I think I need to start having more faith.